Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
