Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
