Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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