I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You may now shotgun with the bride
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
