I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i dont even know how to be here
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
