Just fell off a train. Bad.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
