Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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