Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
