We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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