its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
