kristin has been a bad kristin
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
