Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My penis needs a shock collar
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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