Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
