my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
