Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
