You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize