Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
