listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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