I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
