Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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