hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
