He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
