My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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