I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize