Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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