I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
BRING THE BAGELS
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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