we need to drink 2009 down the drain
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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