she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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