Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
