dude i'm inner monologue high
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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