...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
