Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
