yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
