Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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