So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
