i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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