u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
