do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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