I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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