He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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