that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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