those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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