fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
