Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
