i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
