Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
