So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
