You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
