She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
