I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize