i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
