Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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