I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
