Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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