wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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