I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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