Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
