I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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