areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just had sex on a roof
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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