i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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