I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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