dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
