I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
